We all have a shadow and when we date someone we have to date their shadow too. We live in a society that threatens with punishment, encourages perfection, and has delusional expectations. The reality is that we are not intended to be perfect but to make mistakes so that we can learn.
We need to be gentle with ourselves and others about the darker crevices of our past, personality, and intentions because then we are being more real. Accepting the imperfections and contrasts of ourselves and others actually puts us more in the natural flow of the Universe. There is a sun and moon, day and night, and hot and cold for a reason. The contrast allows for expansion and context. The same is true for the natural polarization of humanity.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool and when you don't resist your flaws or those of others it makes life easier and deepens your connection to your partner. So learn to love your mistakes and fears because then you disempower them. It's also important to remember that if you are focusing on what you don't like, or want, you are attracting more of it. So shift your perception, your attention, and your energy—and love your shadow! It's the shadow that allows you to fully and truly love and appreciate the light!